Wednesday, April 1, 2009

International Trade Compliance Circus

Wednesday is “news day” for the Boskage Trade News Blog. While reviewing the news for something worthy to print, the Wizard came across an article about the trade circus. Ok, the article was really about the “trade caucus,” but the Wizard was tired and visions of a trade circus danced in my head. With the state of the economy, the circus might be the only thing we can afford this year, so join me as we take a quick trip to the International Trade Compliance Circus.

Welcome to the International Trade Compliance Circus – you will never think of trade compliance in the same way again! The Ringmaster for the day is the Commissioner of U.S. Customs & Border Protection. He (or she) will be assisted by many officers who will be happy to assist you during your visit. First on our program for the day is the 10 + 2 ISF Elephant. ISF weighs 12000 lbs, so be careful to follow our instructions and she will not crush you. Next up, we have Lacey the Lion. Do not place any valuable body parts in her path if you want to keep them. The last importer foolishly tried to ignore her and was penalized an arm and a leg. For those of you who have been compliant this year, we will reward you with some free C-TPAT peanuts at the concession stand. If you look up, you will find a group of AES Acrobats demonstrating their skill, agility and coordination while walking the tight rope and swinging from the trapeze. Hang on tight – if they make a mistake it could cost them dearly. You cannot have a circus without the clowns and jugglers. Due to the economy, we have had to lay off our jugglers, but we have the clowns standing in to demonstrate the proper way for trade compliance departments to work and play well with others.
To your left, you will see volunteers who are taking a break from studying for the Customs Broker Exam to be given next week. They are standing next to the CBE Cannon that is going to give them a ride on a cannonball. Next, you will experience a little magic as DOC and DOS make some license requests disappear. As a finale to our show, we will be drawing names out of the Ringmaster’s top hat for parting gifts to some of our guests. If your ticket number is called, please step right up and pick up your penalty notice. Penalties may be paid to the cashier at the exit.

We hope you have enjoyed your trip to the International Trade Compliance Circus! Please come back again. For a real treat, visit the
Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey website. Happy April Fool’s Day!

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